Another season, another blog.

DISCLAIMER: I KNOW I AM A HORRIBLE BLOGGER.

SORRY FOR SPAMMING YOU GUYS. AGAIN.

So here we are, another season gone and Autumn is upon us. And here I sit, hitting myself upside the head because once again I have let another blog I started fall flat. At least I made it to a whole two posts last time...

Why am I starting a blog again, besides the fact that it is a freakishly warm October day I wasted away sitting in the house? Because I need to. Well, I don't have to; nobody is holding a gun to my head and yelling 'KEEP THIS BLOG OR DIE!' because obviously that's not the case.

If anybody remembers my last blog, it had ended with an extremely raw, emotionally-fueled post about how I had no fucking clue what I wanted to do with my life. How I was going to nursing school in the Fall. I was excited, but terrified. I was happy to be going to school, but not looking forward to the work load. Proud of the career choice I was making, but still unsure of my capabilities.

And then I didn't go. I took another semester off of school.
Now here I am. Again.

Cue the judgement, the laughter that is going to ensue, the eye rolling. I've seen it all in the past two months. On the flip side, I have seen more support in my decision to pursue the one thing I have always loved to do; more so than when I told my friends, coworkers, family, customers at work, about going to nursing school. Everybody has always told me that if you do what you love, you will never work a day in your life. I'm finally starting to see that.

So here it goes. Deep breathes. Who gives a fuck what people say, right?

I want to get paid to read, to blog, to make videos of my everyday life.

So what does that entail, you may be asking?

Publishing? Sure. Editing? Real cool.

Being Youtube famous?
Now that's fucking rad.

So before you scoff and exit out of my blog, let me explain myself. Let me give my first insight on something I have enjoyed for the past few years but just recently began to share with other people...

For almost five years I've watched large amounts of Youtube videos. And not just the "LOL FUNNY CATS" or "DRUNK GUY FALLS DOWN THE STAIRS!!!" videos. I mean real life human beings like me or you, who vlog their lives for us to watch.

Yeah, you read that correctly. I watch normal people on my computer who make videos of their life. (I shrugged, because I know people are judging me hard right now. Just so you know, I don't care. Hence the continuation of the post)

Over the past five years I've watched these everyday human beings become sponsored by large corporations, thus making money off their videos. I watched a guy become a multi-millionaire from vlogging everyday. (See: Shay Carl on Youtube, he's awesome). Some of my favorite people started comedy YouTube channels; now they have books being published (Hannah Hart, Grace Helbig and Mamrie Hart to name a few). Many go on tours now. Some have TV shows being filmed. One of my favorite YouTubers (Tyler Oakley) just uploaded a video about a month ago with MICHELLE OBAMA.

So how did I sit here and justify the fact that I want a new camera for Christmas that takes HD vidoes just so I can talk into it and upload myself to YouTube? Well, I can't. I know becoming a YouTube sensation is a HUGE, and I mean HUGE dream, and if I never get to the point where I have millions of subscribers, that's totally fine. If I don't get sponsors and start getting paid to make videos, that's fine also. Because this dream of mine isn't to become famous, or have millions of dollars. It's something I have enjoyed for years, and something I have learned not to be ashamed of. But if my dream ever gets to that point, who the Hell would turn down making money off their enjoyment?

Here's the thing:

Ever since I admitted to myself and those close to me that my true passion is, and has always been, reading, writing, and vlogging, I have been so much happier. I have been content in my life knowing that I will be returning to school to get a degree in something I will always find happiness in. And the best part is, I've learned to let go of the embarrassment about my career. Because that's just it -- it's MY career and nobody else's. I don't need to go to college for anything else than what I want to do with the rest of my life.

Clearly I'm not in a career for the money, because even in publishing, there isn't much money in the field. My one life goal is to publish a book, and hopefully that book will be a best-seller. However, you can't go through life thinking "How can I make the most money?" because truthfully, as someone who knows, money does NOT BUY HAPPINESS. Enjoying the path your life is on, and the people you chose to bring on that path, brings so much more happiness than any check at the end of the week. Like I said, I could end up being a nobody; I could be someone with a blog only five people read. Those five people may be my parents, my aunt, and sister. In my mind though, those are five people who enjoy my work. That's five more than before I started this blog. And that's how you should look at your life, and your career: It's not the quantity, but the quality.

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I really don't know how this first post ended up being long, and all over the place, but I guess that's an insight into my mind for you: All over the place, all the time. Maybe this post, or even this blog as a whole, won't get as much recognition as my last blog about college (Which by the way, I absolutely DUMBFOUNDED by the amount of feedback I got. People are amazing like that!) I feel like I didn't really explain myself, or the reasoning behind the complete 180 my career path did. People also may be asking why I'm going back to school for something I was doing before.

And the answer is simple:
I have too many ideas, dreams, and aspirations to be stuck with a schools definition of learning. I want to make a difference in this world, and I can't do that being barricaded in the walls of a school, behind a desk, grading papers for kids who have been brainwashed by the schools. Because, face it, most kids just don't give a fuck anymore if they are forced to do things like write papers, or read books. I know for a fact that's why I hate math, or science.

Anyways.

So where do I leave this?
Do I put some inspirational quote?
Do I say "Fuck you if you think me being a blogger is stupid"? (Well maybe)

I really don't know. So I suppose I will leave you with some of my favorite YouTuber's links, some who I mentioned earlier, so you can get an insight into this crazy online world. :)

The Shaytards
Colleen & Rachel Ballinger
Grace Helbig, Hannah Hart & Mamrie Hart
Tyler Oakley
Hannah Maggs (She's my absolute FAVORITE)
Zoe Sugg
Alli
Superwoman

I suppose you could say those are my NEED TO watch Youtubers. I have many, many more YouTubers in which I am subscribed to.

And with that, I'm finally ending this blog.

xx